impatience and stubbornness?

This morning I look out at the winter wonderland, snow covering the whole city, and I am so grateful for my cozy slippers and steaming cup of coffee. Honestly, I hate snow, but unfortunately for me my kids love it.

Earlier this week they all woke up eager to go outside and start playing. I delayed as long as possible but inevitably I got everyone bundled up, a thermos full of hot chocolate and some cookies and we headed over to the park. I stood at the bottom of the hill, my toes shivering counting the moments until it was reasonable for me to say its time to go home. Then I felt my youngest son tapping on my leg, “Watch Mummy,” he said. He then proceeded to jump head first down the hill like a penguin in the artic. He slid all the way down yelling belly slide and giggling. As he reached the bottom of the hill he looked up at me  and said “ Me love the snow, this is the best day ever, ever.” I smiled and looked up to the top of the hill where the other two came barrelling down the hill laughing uncontrollably. I had been so busy waiting to leave that I almost missed enjoying the pure joy my kids were experiencing.

After a long day of school, play, cooking, cleaning, diaper changing, naps, workout, reading, refereeing and so on I was anxiously awaiting bed time. Bedtime was the conclusion of the day as “mom.” Once everyone was in bed and settled, I was off the clock. I had successfully made it through another day and I could have a few moments to my self. The younger two were asleep, my oldest was settled and I was just tucking in my daughter, who is notorious for bedtime excuses. I gave her a kiss and said good night, she grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. “Mama,” she said, “do you know something…” Oh, great I thought, here we go. I just want you to go to sleep so I can have a break. I turned to her and prepared to tell her to go to sleep. Then she said to me, “ I love you mama, more then anything else. I’m so glad Jesus gave me a mommy like you.” My heart felt warm and I smiled at her and cuddled in beside her. She continued to talk through her day and shared her ideas and thoughts with me. She finally drifted to sleep and I was able to sneak out. I plopped down on the couch and smiled. I was so busy trying to get them to sleep I almost missed a precious moment that I will treasure in my heart for ever.

One last story, today my son was playing with a drill set. He was happily sitting on the floor drilling the screw in and out. He got to the end and began to get frustrated because he had no more screws left. I told him there was more in the playroom. But he sat there crying and angry trying to find more under the couch, under the table, and in the train basket. I continued to remind him that they are in the playroom. After about 20 minutes of frustration he finally conceded and went to retrieve the extra screws in the playroom. I thought, wow he is so busy being stubborn, he just wasted so much time.

I know not all of you have kids and so these stories may seem pointless, but stick with me for a minute. How many of you have been so focused in one direction, you missed the elephant on the road in front of you? How many of you have tried and tried to do what you thought was right, only to find out God had different plans?

On Sunday pastor spoke about Abraham. He tried so hard to have a baby his own way with Hagar. Although Abraham and God had the same goal, Abraham was trying to achieve that goal with his own impatience and stubbornness.

I have my own goals, my own ideas about how things should go, whether it be in a day or an evening, a month or a year. God used small events, like sledding and bedtime this week to remind me to stop holding onto my plan so tightly. If we are determined to do things our way we may delay the great blessings God has in store for us.

Sometimes the plan God has for us feels scary. When I was a child, I used to ask my mom almost every day, “What are we doing today?” I probably drove her crazy but I always wanted to know what was ahead. As an adult you would think I would have that control, but God has other ideas. He has placed me in a situation of unknowns. It’s a painful place to be at times. Anxiety so easily grips my heart. I have a plan, my own ideas about how the future should look but God wants to keep me utterly dependent on him as he unravels his plan for me.

Whether you are a control freak like me, or going with the flow comes naturally to you, God has a plan for each of us. As I have been challenged this week, I share with you…Keep your heart open to what God is doing in your life. Let’s not be so busy trying to get where we think we should be that we miss where God is directing us!

 

 

[quote title=”” Text=”Whether you are a control freak like me, or going with the flow comes naturally to you, God has a plan for each of us” name=”April Bakundukize” name_sub=””]

What’s it All About?

The messages I get often start with Why or Where. Why is God letting this happen to me? Where is God right now and why isn’t he answering my prayers? Why am I here?

Rick Warren, in his book Better Together (p. 12), says “the purpose of your time on earth is not primarily about acquiring possessions, attaining status, achieving success, or even experiencing happiness. Those are secondary issues. Life is all about love and developing relationships – with God, and with other people. You may succeed in many areas, but if you fail to learn how to love God and love others, you’ll have missed the reason God created you and placed you on this planet. Learning to love is life’s most important lesson. Jesus called it the “great commandment” (Matthew 22:38). Nothing else comes close in importance.”

If you’re like me, it’s easy to nod my head in agreement but then I meet real people in real life.

For example, K. is the mom whose son is an aggressive autistic wreaking havoc in the community. K. has a husband dying from a brain tumour and acting out against her. K. has a daughter who gave her a three-week-old child to look after since the daughter didn’t want to leave her life of drugs and prostitution. Now K. has kidney cancer and lives in serious pain. Her messages to me express how overwhelming life is. Her trust and faith in God were ejected long ago. How do I love in this situation?

  1. came by for prayer again today. One son is an alcoholic and one a drug addict. She converted to Christianity from another religion and is seeing huge transformation in her own life and choices. She battles and fights for her boys but is drained of energy. She can’t keep a job because she is always chasing to intervene in her son’s latest escapade. The things she loves disappear again and she knows who took them. Yet today, she declares that God knows who needs those things most and she releases them without animosity toward her son. Still, she is in desperate need. How do I love in this situation?
  2. is a young professional who was lonely. She prided herself on her purity until she met an older man who overwhelmed her with compassion and care. She quickly fell prey to his sexual advances and found herself involved in things she never imagined doing. When that relationship ended, within a week, she was into another relationship with a younger man who repeated the same activities with her. She feels trapped because of her loneliness, guilt because of her faith, helplessness to make meaningful choices. How do I love in this situation?
  3. is an older refugee who longs for connections. He had significant status in his home country before he had to run for his life and come to Canada a year ago. He is learning English and loves to talk but no one seems to have time for him. He is constantly sending out invitations to come and share food at his home. He would love to still make a difference in his home country through a politician here but needs help accessing his representative so he can share his story. How do I love in this situation?

Every person we meet has a different story and love needs to be applied uniquely to their situation. We need wisdom and compassion and grace greater than we can imagine.

Who are the significant people in your community who need practical demonstrations of love? What can you do for even one of them?

Blessed Bubble-Wrapped Believers

I still can’t find the verse. You know, the one that says believers will be bubble-wrapped and protected
from having a hard time in this world.
I did find what Jesus said in his sermon on the mount: “Blessed are you when people insult you,
persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because
great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before
you.”
Francis Chan reminds us in a short video clip that we don’ t have to worry about what we need to say
when we’re called before those who oppose us because, as Jesus told us in Luke 12:11-12, the Holy
Spirit inside us will tell us at that time what we are to say.
Today, I received an email from one of our university students who had a pro-choice professor
expressing his views on gender fluidity and sexuality. He supported the Prime Minister’s cut of summer
grants to churches who will not support abortion or transgenderism. He mocked Trinity Western’s
contract encouraging students to stay sexually pure. This student spoke up in class and was amazed that
the professor listened. She said “This is my firsthand experience that God can and does proclaim His
truth through timid spokespeople when the time is right! Still, it’s so easy to just keep quiet… please
pray for faith, courage and love to testify to those around me, and also that I can act out my faith.”
If you know how to pray there are people who need you. If you are in the front lines facing the insults
and the bubble-wrap free zone then you need prayer warriors around you. The strength of our faith
comes not only in our quiet times alone but in our vibrant interdependence as members of one body –
one family – one church.
I’ll finish today with Peter’s encouragement to believers facing challenges in his day. “Who is going to
harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do
not fear what they fear; do not be frightened. But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be
prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But
do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. It is better, if it God’s will, to
suffer for doing good than for doing evil.”
I guess we’ll save the bubble-wrap for Christmas presents.