Pull up a Plate

Love,Food,Hospitality,Church,All nations,Sunday

There’s nothing like food to bring people together. I’ve gotten closer to people over Halal chicken, Thanksgiving turkey, Sushi, Vietnamese noodle soup, tacos, ice cream sundaes, hamburgers, potatoes with peanut sauce, casseroles, and biriyani or steak dinners. Our church believes in hospitality in all its forms.

Jesus was known for his “eating and drinking” with sinners and some of our memorable stories are of him with Matthew, Zacchaeus, the 5000, the 4000 and the Disciples at the Last Supper.

Perhaps at our meals, we are together vulnerably expressing our mutual need for ‘daily bread’ and our humble thankfulness for God’s most recent provision. There is a togetherness that often helps us relax and share on a more personal level. As long as there is food on our plate we are present and available to share one more story, to hear one more antidote, to discuss one more idea.

When we share food from another culture there is the extension of friendship and acceptance. There is the taking in of something which is important and meaningful to another. There is a drawing together across differences in something common which makes us alike.

Meals pull people to cross social barriers since wealthy and poor alike enjoy good food. There is joy in the creation, the serving, the consuming and even comradery in the cleanup if that is part of the routine.

We recently shared a wedding shower for our intern and his fiancé. This event with multi-cultural food brought diverse cultures, ages, social classes, genders and faith groups together into one joy filled occasion where cuisine played a central role.

What you are eating across from me helps me stay face to face with you. In a world filled with technology which can keep us connected but apart, it is nice to sense close proximity to another person made in God’s image who is struggling through the challenges of life, breathing in the same air, experiencing the same atmosphere, taking the same time just to be here, together.

We claim to be 50 nations in one family.  The second Sunday of each month we celebrate the food from a different part of the world and our members love preparing, displaying and offering what is close to their hearts and stomachs.

When food is offered, somehow people come when nothing else might draw them into relationship.

What have you done to express your hospitality across barriers? What is your favorite food to offer to someone with whom you want to share friendship or welcome? When you think back on the all the meals you’ve eaten, which food offered to you did you enjoy and appreciate the most? What made it so special?

What Else Is Out There? Don’t Read This – part 2.

Being a parent seems to be getting more challenging all the time. We’ve hardly got our children walking and we’re being warned to “stranger proof” them at the same time we’re trying to socialize them; we’re encouraged to get them into SMART start but not to expose them to too much social media or television; we’re trying to teach them good values, reading, language, colours and sharing while connecting them to social settings where other families have other ways of doing things.

Now, we’re being reminded that we need to “porn proof” our kids. We’ve got them ready for earthquakes and fires by warning them about the danger and then teaching them what to do if the event happens. We are always looking for the way out. How do we do that with pornography when so much happens away from our awareness?

In the near future our church will be having a workshop for parents on the massive impact of sex trafficking in this city but one thing is clear. As parents, we hardly take seriously enough the things our children are being exposed to. We don’t realize how enticing images draw young minds into forbidden channels where they are exposed to illicit scenes which awake latent desires.

Children should be reminded that they have a feeling brain and a thinking brain. The imagery and emotion of pornography are centered on our feeling brain in such a way that our thinking brain doesn’t do its job of warning us about future consequences. For them to label images out loud “that’s pornography” will keep them alert so they can make wiser choices. Finding ways to distract themselves when images pull at their senses is a helpful way to protect their mind from long term memories which will impact them in relationships and self-care.

Sometimes, parents fend off the idea of how vulnerable our own children might be by thinking that the girls or boys who get caught up in sex trafficking or pornography are from other countries or they’re here without stable family support. The reality is different.

A large percentage of those youth pulled into the industry are born in Canada. The government claims 90% of known individuals caught up are Canadian. The internet, social media, the mall and even dog walkers have been used to troll for vulnerable victims. Girls even younger than 13 are being targeted.

Many of the young girls involved still come home at night so parents don’t catch on. Some of the things to watch for include longer periods of time where their presence isn’t known; changes in routine; having more than one cellphone; getting expensive things; unexplained absences from school and deep weariness.

As parents, please ensure your children are supervised when in public spaces. Be aware of their social media activity. Know where your child is and screen any potential older friends. Talk to your child about what to do if they get into a difficult situation with someone. Give clear instructions on how to handle themselves in social settings of all kinds. Pray without ceasing for this child’s protection.

Are you staying connected with other parents so you have a support network? What is God saying to you in his own efforts to protect you from the dangers around you?

Have You Really Left Home?

This is an incredibly challenging time and place to find a new home – especially if you’re young. Spaces and dollars are few for many of you. It takes a reorientation of your expectations to find your roots and to dig them down so that you hold on and grow where you are.

This day is often focused on encouraging people to stretch themselves and their dollars to reach out and demonstrate your affection for others in your world. Dinners, cards, flowers and calls are intentionally shared. Those in marriages are encouraged to push their expressions of intimacy even deeper. It is sometimes easy to give something other than yourself to accomplish your duty.

Donald Harvey has written a book called “Love Decisions” focusing on a dad’s talk with his daughter about the potential for love and her preparation for it. The first question he brings up is “Have you really left home?”

His biblical focus is on Genesis 2:24 where we are told that a man will leave his father and mother and cling to his wife so they become one flesh. A person who is ready for lasting relationship both detaches and then attaches. Some who have been already married haven’t really effectively detached from their birth families and they find themselves constantly torn between two loyalties.

The issue isn’t only about moving your body out of a shared space with your birth family. It is about making the primary motivation for your mental and emotional decisions based on a foundation other than your parents. Of course, family will always be important and have some degree of influence on many of our decisions but it is the degree of that decision making which shows whether you have left home or not.

Preserving a healthy family relationship, while developing other positive relationships, is an important part of developing some level of independence. You don’t have to rebel or move far away to establish this readiness.

Here’s what Harvey (p. 18) tells us. “When you have truly left home, you will demonstrate independence versus dependence – you will act versus react. And your decisions will have more to say about you than about other people. The bottom line will always be, “This is what I think is the best thing for me to do,” and you will act accordingly. If, instead, your behavior is a reaction to others, then maybe (you guessed it) you still haven’t left and there’s still some work to do before you’re ready to make any real lovedecisions.

“Leaving home is not as simple as it sounds. It isn’t just a by-product of age. Nor is it always indicated by a change in address. It’s a process – one that requires many steps and encounters many interferences. Still, it is not only an accomplishable goal but one that must be attained before you are ready to make any significant lovedecisons. Assess yourself and your relationships. Have you made the break from home and dependence to self-sufficiency and independence? Are you somewhere “in process”? Or are you still clearly tied to your parents?

Developing a faith that is your own is an essential part of this readiness for intimacy. If your heart has learned to love God and to be loved by him then it is tuned to understand how love works in the human realm.

Disciples of All Nations? Really ?

Someone has challenged me that they don’t think churches are making disciples anymore. In fact, they don’t think most people calling themselves Christians are really followers of Jesus. They believe there are a lot of deceived people inhabiting churches feeling secure and comfortable without reason.

Real disciples, they say, are making new disciples. They are sharing their life story with others around them; they are studying the word of God as daily soul food; they are praying actively for others by name to be saved; they are engaged in meeting the needs of others around them; they are generous and hospitable and active in using their gifts for the building up of the body of Christ.

Do you know anyone like this? Is this the role of every believer individually or is the role of the church collectively?

Regardless of your response, how are you involved in helping to make disciple makers who make disciple makers? We’re not talking about people who you lead to say a prayer and then live their lives without real transformation. How do you make disciples whose lives start becoming more like Jesus and then share that transformation so others are transformed?

I’m told young adults are leaving the institutional church in droves because the older generations aren’t investing in their spiritual care and development – in other words, they aren’t being discipled.

Is my friend right in saying we don’t make disciples anymore? What can we do about it?